A Final Open Letter from Voldy…

Friday, April 01st, 2011 | Author: Lord Voldemort

Dear Joanne ‘fake middle name’ Rowling,

I’ve finally arrived at my purpose, and it is to bring several utterances of yours into question. While conducting some routine research, I’ve come across a few choice words you’ve used to describe me over the years. Seamstress of vocabulary, you are! Despite lacking all of what a dark wizard would desire in a woman, you do manage to employ temerity! An audacious muggle, you are, and I quote:

“Voldemort as “a raging psychopath, devoid of the normal human responses to other people’s suffering,” and Wormtail as somone “who out of cowardice will stand in the shadow of the strongest person.”

Okay, what?! Why is being devoid of ‘normal human responses’ such a terrible thing?  However, you are absolutely correct about Wormtail. Git. Now onto more treasures I’ve uncovered. You say this -

“We really are talking about someone who is incredibly power hungry. Racist, really. And what do those kinds of people do? They treat human life so lightly. I wanted to be accurate in that sense. My editor was shocked by the way the character was killed, which was very dismissive. That was entirely deliberate.”

Why are you making an issue out of nothing? How do you say it — ‘drama queen’. Yes, that is what you are. What is the big deal? At least I made use of these lives. Hello – Inferi! Totally functional. And about the power hungry accusation. Do we not live in a democracy? It’s all about the individual – personal gain and progress, no? Let me add a final thought – I’m charging you with murder. You just admitted (on the Internet) that you deliberately killed me. Not intelligent.

Ill Regards,

Tom (I’m embracing it).

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